A little tanikaisms to help us get through the day:
-Today I was walking and I noticed a guy with a very obvious toupee. It was sooooo bad it looked like a hair hat. It was the worse case of hat hair I've ever seen. I burst out laughing. It reminded me of the episode of Seinfeld where George gets a toupee much to everyone else's amusement and dismay.
-Last weekend I spent the night at a friends place and we inevitably discussed her current disastrous relationship. I'm friends with both her and her ummm...guy friend...or whatever he is and today I was walking in Barnes and Noble and I saw a book that caught my eye and as I read...it felt like I was reading a story about their relationship. It's called "Dating Disasters...And how to avoid them" by Joy Browne. Clearly my friend wasn't reading this book or maybe she wouldn't be in her current position. The book takes stories, edits out the names, and gives you interesting insight into relationship problems. She starts the book off by listing various guys out there. (Sorry that's as far as I got in the book I do have other things to do.) Some of the guys it's bad to be in a relationship (the ones I remember):
The Married Guy, The separated but still Married Guy, The Recently Divorced Guy, The Stuck Guy, The Dance Away Lover (The Game Player, The Addict, and The Manic-Depressive), The Mama's Boy...)
The guy my friend is seeing is the Dance Away Lover (there are 3 types). Joy Browne says, " He can't tolerate real intimacy because he doesn't like himself-and he fears that you won't like the "real" guy any better than he does." Because the closer you get to him the greater the risk for exposure. Closely related to Relationship Tip #11 is this guy. He'll take you away for a long weekend, then break up with you on Monday. After great sex, he'll have to go home. He needs to know that he is valuable to you, but at the same time is unable to make the same level of emotional commitment that you are, but ironically enough if he senses you pulling away he will start calling making sure you are still into him until you try to come back closer and then he pulls away again. It's like he secretly enjoys it. And the worse part is he makes it seem like it's your fault in the first place. Having you apologize for things you don't even know you did. It's crazy. Reading this chapter felt like I was rehashing my conversation from the weekend. It was nuts because that's exactly how this guy is.
-I love spicy pickles!
-It's annoying when people want you to scratch their back and they say, "Will you itch my back?" or that they have to itch their arm or something. I think, "It's already itching, isn't that the problem in the first place?" Argh!!!
-My allergies are acting childish again after 2 years on hiatus.
-Why is green so darn pretty?
-I think this lady wants to open a Mathnasium with me or something?
-It's just the Germans planning to take over I say.
Have a good day and as always enjoy.
I am 50% Left Brain and 50% Right Brain. Interesting...
| You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained |
 Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
Thoughts ...
I recently finished reading The Color Purple by Alice Walker. And as Donna points out one of the characters Shug has some interesting thoughts on the subject of God. I can't express them the same way that she does, but Shug challenges Celie's naive perceptions of the God of her mind and Celie "...Realizes that the God she needs is not the one she originally envisages. It is significant that she sees him as white and old 'like some white man work at the bank'. All the angels are white, too and she comes to realize that this God is useless to her... Her changing perceptions of God are completed by Shug Avery's unconventional interpretations of God and His purpose. Shug rejects the narrow Church and its false perceptions, preferring to have a personal religion in which God figures 'Not as a she or a he but a It.' She shares this revelation with Celie - the Gospel According to Shug - in order to worship, a person should 'lay back and just admire stuff. Be happy.' "
After reading this book I started thinking a lot about my perception of God. And when I talk to him what I'm actually picturing on the other end of the "conversation". How much do I allow my naive views shape who I think God is. Is it possible that by rendering God ineffectual in my mind I also render ineffectual my connection with him and his influence in my life?
On a similar note I've also been mildly curious about this religious fellowship that is close to Kairos. It's called Self-Realization Fellowship. There motto is a church for all religions and all cultures. Not only are it's Headquarters located in Los Angeles, I walk past this building roughly once a week and wonder about there teachings of God and their beliefs. I wonder if the teachings they have will challenge my current perceptions of God. Could I handle that challenge? Why would I want to hear things that challenge me in the first place? Lots of thoughts run through my head.
I've always enjoyed learning about other religions and others thoughts about God or whoever else people might worship. I feel that after all is said and done it's a good experience because one I've grown in my understanding and I'm able to more clearly define what I believe and why. Nothing it isn't always pleasant, but I wouldn't ever stop exploring.
After reading this book I started thinking a lot about my perception of God. And when I talk to him what I'm actually picturing on the other end of the "conversation". How much do I allow my naive views shape who I think God is. Is it possible that by rendering God ineffectual in my mind I also render ineffectual my connection with him and his influence in my life?
On a similar note I've also been mildly curious about this religious fellowship that is close to Kairos. It's called Self-Realization Fellowship. There motto is a church for all religions and all cultures. Not only are it's Headquarters located in Los Angeles, I walk past this building roughly once a week and wonder about there teachings of God and their beliefs. I wonder if the teachings they have will challenge my current perceptions of God. Could I handle that challenge? Why would I want to hear things that challenge me in the first place? Lots of thoughts run through my head.
I've always enjoyed learning about other religions and others thoughts about God or whoever else people might worship. I feel that after all is said and done it's a good experience because one I've grown in my understanding and I'm able to more clearly define what I believe and why. Nothing it isn't always pleasant, but I wouldn't ever stop exploring.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
It's A Boy!
As many of you know I have some interesting dreams (when I'm sleeping and awake) I dream about being kidnapped and tortured for gov't secrets. I dream of being the leading mathematician in the country. I dream in other languages and about other worlds. Then I'll have a really unusual dream. Like I'm pregnant.
For those of you who know Galimore. Back when I was in Blacksburg I used to dream I was pregnant by him about 3 times a week. It got to the point where he would act all offended if I didn't dream about him. (For the record I was never interested in him nor he in me. Usually though these dreams have no basis in the reality of me being or wanting to be pregnant. Galimore said he thinks it's me getting ready to start a new project or idea. Anyway the other night I had another dream. I sent an email to my friend about it so here are some of the excerpts:
...although I did dream I was pregnant last night. And the guy who I was pregnant by was this old grey haired Indian man (from India) who actually had a wife and adult children back in India. And no we weren't married. Mike wanted me to announce it at church, but I said you can't announce you're pregnant when you have a baby's daddy. Especially when your baby daddy already married. Mike was like "Oh!" Anyway we were trying to figure out what to name the baby and Mike was like why don't you name him after the baby daddy. So I figured his name should have been Krisnaraj, Hrithik or even Karthik you know something Indian. But it was Erek Kirkeric. I said that's not very Hindu. He said well it's my name ... I went back to the dad and he was like actually my first name Erek is short for Derek. Yeah Derek Kirkeric. Which I thought was kinda interesting. (on a side note everyone I talked to both my guy friends Eric and Derek and told them it's just a dream so I feel comfortable sharing this without it getting misunderstood, at least by them) I guess my dream was really an amalgomation of all the things I've thought about recently...
I go on to explain to my friend why I thought the name was like that. But funnily enough I was talking to my friend Derek yesterday and he said that he was asked to plan a baby shower and he had no clue what to do. I was telling him about my dream and then I was like maybe that's the new project or idea. So we sat around spitballing ideas for what to do at a baby shower and how to organize one. See easy peasy. I definitely am not trying to have children. At least not now and not by Eric, Derek, or an old Indian man (ok maybe the old Indian man. Just kidding). But I still thought it was kinda funny. Why do I have these weird dreams. Please feel free to share you weirdest dreams. I love hearing about those.
As always have a good day and enjoy.
Tanika's Relationship Tip #11: (at least I think it's 11) "Why can't you stop the games and act how you feel, or at least clearly state it." This was said to me yesterday by a good friend of mine. He is in the middle of a tumultuous relationship and has been for some months. We were both saying we are sick of all the game playing that goes on in male/female relationship. I know we all want "spice" in or relationships and to keep things interesting. Also we might be seeking to protect ourselves, but please STOP THE GAMES! Along the same lines of stringing someone along there is also the game playing. It's just like my tip #1. Consistency. But this is once you are already in a relationship. Saying crazy stuff like "I already saw you this week. That's too many times, I need to hang out with my boys now!" What kinda ignorant mess is that? Making sure that you always maintain the "upper hand" in a relationship, I guess it's what some people think it is. I think it's just plain childish. Then your whole relationship turns into all these manipulative games and then you can't trust your partner anymore. How long do you think that's gonna last. Relationships shouldn't be about maintaining the upper hand. It should be about loving, laughing and sharing. Because trust me all the game playing and score keeping is gonna get old, and quick.
For those of you who know Galimore. Back when I was in Blacksburg I used to dream I was pregnant by him about 3 times a week. It got to the point where he would act all offended if I didn't dream about him. (For the record I was never interested in him nor he in me. Usually though these dreams have no basis in the reality of me being or wanting to be pregnant. Galimore said he thinks it's me getting ready to start a new project or idea. Anyway the other night I had another dream. I sent an email to my friend about it so here are some of the excerpts:
...although I did dream I was pregnant last night. And the guy who I was pregnant by was this old grey haired Indian man (from India) who actually had a wife and adult children back in India. And no we weren't married. Mike wanted me to announce it at church, but I said you can't announce you're pregnant when you have a baby's daddy. Especially when your baby daddy already married. Mike was like "Oh!" Anyway we were trying to figure out what to name the baby and Mike was like why don't you name him after the baby daddy. So I figured his name should have been Krisnaraj, Hrithik or even Karthik you know something Indian. But it was Erek Kirkeric. I said that's not very Hindu. He said well it's my name ... I went back to the dad and he was like actually my first name Erek is short for Derek. Yeah Derek Kirkeric. Which I thought was kinda interesting. (on a side note everyone I talked to both my guy friends Eric and Derek and told them it's just a dream so I feel comfortable sharing this without it getting misunderstood, at least by them) I guess my dream was really an amalgomation of all the things I've thought about recently...
I go on to explain to my friend why I thought the name was like that. But funnily enough I was talking to my friend Derek yesterday and he said that he was asked to plan a baby shower and he had no clue what to do. I was telling him about my dream and then I was like maybe that's the new project or idea. So we sat around spitballing ideas for what to do at a baby shower and how to organize one. See easy peasy. I definitely am not trying to have children. At least not now and not by Eric, Derek, or an old Indian man (ok maybe the old Indian man. Just kidding). But I still thought it was kinda funny. Why do I have these weird dreams. Please feel free to share you weirdest dreams. I love hearing about those.
As always have a good day and enjoy.
Tanika's Relationship Tip #11: (at least I think it's 11) "Why can't you stop the games and act how you feel, or at least clearly state it." This was said to me yesterday by a good friend of mine. He is in the middle of a tumultuous relationship and has been for some months. We were both saying we are sick of all the game playing that goes on in male/female relationship. I know we all want "spice" in or relationships and to keep things interesting. Also we might be seeking to protect ourselves, but please STOP THE GAMES! Along the same lines of stringing someone along there is also the game playing. It's just like my tip #1. Consistency. But this is once you are already in a relationship. Saying crazy stuff like "I already saw you this week. That's too many times, I need to hang out with my boys now!" What kinda ignorant mess is that? Making sure that you always maintain the "upper hand" in a relationship, I guess it's what some people think it is. I think it's just plain childish. Then your whole relationship turns into all these manipulative games and then you can't trust your partner anymore. How long do you think that's gonna last. Relationships shouldn't be about maintaining the upper hand. It should be about loving, laughing and sharing. Because trust me all the game playing and score keeping is gonna get old, and quick.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Exposee...
I would like to state that within this blog ME has finally revealled themselves on my blog. Deep in the inner recesses of the comments Me gives away their identity. So if you want to know who me is you have to look for yourself. Thank you me. I can't believe I didn't figure it out.
Monday, June 20, 2005
We're Here!
The Raceks and I have officially moved into our Culver City residence. So long Los Angeles. We're in the 'burbs. (or as close to the burbs as you can get). We live at the end of a cul de sac in a nice residential neighborhood. I knew we hit the 'burbs when the neighbors came over to welcome us.
The funny part is there is a kid next door (actually he is about 16) who goes to the mathnasium. So when the he and the dad came over to say hello Miles and I looked at each other and were like "Hey I know you!" Now he's gonna tell his family how I'm a mini-dictator over at the Mathnasium (just kidding I'm really very nice).
As some of you know there has been high drama in this whole California housing project. Now I'm at liberty to write my expose on the California Real Estate Market. If I had to sum up the experience in one word it would be SCANDALOUS. From beginning to end. Their has been intrigue, subterfuge, and seduction. Okay maybe not seduction, but I'm sure it's not from lack of trying. Anyway I'm resting these next few days and gathering my wits so I can make it a funny unforgettable tale, Tanika-style. Stay tuned.
Blactoid: I'm currently reading The Color Purple by Alice Walker and one of the main characters Celie is married to this guy named Mr. ______ . It was a marriage of convenience (his convenience, of course) it's set during the early 1900's and is a collection of letters written by Celie first to God and then to her sister Nettie. It's quite disturbing because of the way the women are treated throughout this novel. I guess one of the things that stuck out to me was that Celie is married to Mr. ______, but she doesn't love him, was actually forced to marry him becuase of her father. Now his Mr. ______'s mistress Shug has moved into the house and it doesn't seem to bother Celie at all. As a matter of fact she is actually very interested in and attached to Shug. She talks about how Shug is the best thing that ever happened to her.
I was just thinking about how subordinated black women were during this time period and how incredibly far they have come and what they have overcome to get to this point. Pretty amazing.
The funny part is there is a kid next door (actually he is about 16) who goes to the mathnasium. So when the he and the dad came over to say hello Miles and I looked at each other and were like "Hey I know you!" Now he's gonna tell his family how I'm a mini-dictator over at the Mathnasium (just kidding I'm really very nice).
As some of you know there has been high drama in this whole California housing project. Now I'm at liberty to write my expose on the California Real Estate Market. If I had to sum up the experience in one word it would be SCANDALOUS. From beginning to end. Their has been intrigue, subterfuge, and seduction. Okay maybe not seduction, but I'm sure it's not from lack of trying. Anyway I'm resting these next few days and gathering my wits so I can make it a funny unforgettable tale, Tanika-style. Stay tuned.
Blactoid: I'm currently reading The Color Purple by Alice Walker and one of the main characters Celie is married to this guy named Mr. ______ . It was a marriage of convenience (his convenience, of course) it's set during the early 1900's and is a collection of letters written by Celie first to God and then to her sister Nettie. It's quite disturbing because of the way the women are treated throughout this novel. I guess one of the things that stuck out to me was that Celie is married to Mr. ______, but she doesn't love him, was actually forced to marry him becuase of her father. Now his Mr. ______'s mistress Shug has moved into the house and it doesn't seem to bother Celie at all. As a matter of fact she is actually very interested in and attached to Shug. She talks about how Shug is the best thing that ever happened to her.
I was just thinking about how subordinated black women were during this time period and how incredibly far they have come and what they have overcome to get to this point. Pretty amazing.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Identity Theft...
I can say with complete and utter confidence that Me and French Girl aren't one and the same. The plot thickens...Now my speculation. Is Me male or female? I will have to diligently comb all of me's comments for any sort of gender typing words. Me I agree with you, I am enjoying the tagboard very much.
A Me et French Girl: Je vais vous trouver! (I'm going to find you!)
A Me et French Girl: Je vais vous trouver! (I'm going to find you!)
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Public Apology
Hey I just wanted to apologize for all the French on the tagboard. I sometimes forget that everyone doesn't speak French, but it looks like English to me so it's hard to explain that I never really notice. But the reason I wrote a lot of stuff in French was because I wanted to weed out the French speaking French girl and possibly me unless me and french girl are one and the same. I was also thinking if you don't speak french then you wouldn't take the time to respond to me in French unless it was really you.
I'm not exclusive and from here on out will provide translations to any languages posted on my blog that I also understand. If I can't read it then don't worry about it.
Mais, a fille francaise, je te cherche. (but to the french girl I'm looking for you.)
As always have a good day and enjoy.
I'm not exclusive and from here on out will provide translations to any languages posted on my blog that I also understand. If I can't read it then don't worry about it.
Mais, a fille francaise, je te cherche. (but to the french girl I'm looking for you.)
As always have a good day and enjoy.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Always Moisturize...
Ok so apparently I have abnormally soft skin. (Exceptions palm of hand and bottom of feet). How do I know? Because when people brush up against me and realize how soft my skin is they keep wanting to touch it. (i.e. the human resources manager at my old job, little kids, ummm...significant others (clearing throat), and the general public.
Yesterday I was working with a private tutor I have. She is an 8 year old little girl named Hanna who is extremely interesting and says some of the craziest comments that I've ever heard of. She is a little Jewish girl who currently speaks English, and Hebrew and is learning Spanish and she is obsessed with me teaching her how to speak slang. She repeats any slang-esque words she hears me say. Well a couple of weeks ago she discovered how soft my arm was when she accidently brushed up against me. Now she is always trying to stroke my cheek or touch my arm or something which really freaks me out a bit. But I know that it's just that kids are physically affectionate and don't have as many boundaries as adults so it's cool. But yesterday she kept brushing against my arm and finally I was like, "Hanna please stop and do your work." She said to me, "Tanika is there any part of your body that isn't soft?" and I said "you mean that's all hard and crusty." She was like "yeah hard and crusty." I said "yeah the bottom of my feet." She was all excited and said, "Can I touch them?" I said, "No Hanna, now get back to work!"
I guess because my skin is so dark I get "ashy" all the time. Or at least I feel ashy so I moisturize between 10-15 times a day. I don't mean to but I don't want to walk around looking like I bathed in the powder house. That's a phrase my mother used to use. "You so ashy, you looked like you bathed in a powder house." As a result. I guess my skin is soft, but that doesn't mean I want everyone to touch it. But if you are wondering how to entice that special someone may I suggest using a little moisturizer for extra dry skin. It works for me. (this is not a relationship tip)
As always have a good day and enjoy.
Yesterday I was working with a private tutor I have. She is an 8 year old little girl named Hanna who is extremely interesting and says some of the craziest comments that I've ever heard of. She is a little Jewish girl who currently speaks English, and Hebrew and is learning Spanish and she is obsessed with me teaching her how to speak slang. She repeats any slang-esque words she hears me say. Well a couple of weeks ago she discovered how soft my arm was when she accidently brushed up against me. Now she is always trying to stroke my cheek or touch my arm or something which really freaks me out a bit. But I know that it's just that kids are physically affectionate and don't have as many boundaries as adults so it's cool. But yesterday she kept brushing against my arm and finally I was like, "Hanna please stop and do your work." She said to me, "Tanika is there any part of your body that isn't soft?" and I said "you mean that's all hard and crusty." She was like "yeah hard and crusty." I said "yeah the bottom of my feet." She was all excited and said, "Can I touch them?" I said, "No Hanna, now get back to work!"
I guess because my skin is so dark I get "ashy" all the time. Or at least I feel ashy so I moisturize between 10-15 times a day. I don't mean to but I don't want to walk around looking like I bathed in the powder house. That's a phrase my mother used to use. "You so ashy, you looked like you bathed in a powder house." As a result. I guess my skin is soft, but that doesn't mean I want everyone to touch it. But if you are wondering how to entice that special someone may I suggest using a little moisturizer for extra dry skin. It works for me. (this is not a relationship tip)
As always have a good day and enjoy.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
The Platonic Friend
One of my favorite comedians Chris Rock gives very comedic insight into relationships especially the role of the "platonic friend". Although he can be a bit crude I think he has a valid point, given some recent events that I have been privvy to. Chris Rock basically breaks it down saying that a lot of women have platonic male friends in their life who they spend a lot time with, sometimes flirt with generally treat like another woman (yeah right). A woman will down play this guy's importance to her boyfriend and tells him that he is just like her girlfriend, Pam.(although there are exceptions, it is very difficult for men and women to be platonic friends unless there are clear boundaries. See I'm not saying impossible I'm just saying that unless you now where you stand it can get messy) But the "platonic" guy friends know the truth and they are usually just biding their time until the boyfriend messes up then it goes a little something like this:
Girl: (sobbing) I can't believe Kenneth would act like this. I can't believe what he said to me, can you?
Platonic Friend: (thinking: Yeah I can, and btw thanks Ken for acting like a jerk) No, I can't. You're so wonderful how could a guy treat you like that. I know I never would.
Girl: That's why you are so awesome. You are so in tune to my needs, unlike Ken. It's just that we've been together so long I know it's probably just stress and he'll get over it.
Platonic friend: (thinking: I hope not) Maybe. Are you happy right now? I mean look at how things are going. You should be taking better care of yourself...
(And you can take out the sobbing, replace girl with guy and trust me the situation would pretty much be the same just flipped)
And you can figure out where that conversation is going. See platonic friend is too smart. He will never actually bad mouth Ken, but he knows Ken is making fatal errors and he isn't about to say anything that is going to help Ken out.
I have a friend who recently has been put into the position of "platonic friend". He wasn't thinking about Keisha, at least not in that way. I mean Keisha is a great girl and all but she has been dating Robert for a while and my friend realized that things weren't going to happen so... Just chill out and have a good time. Keisha's good company no problem right? Then Rob started acting like a fool and Keisha and my friend started spending more and more time together. I think we've all been in this situation before. Whether we were Keisha, Rob, or my friend. Where a relationship isn't going that well and you realize that there are actually other people out there who treat you with respect and diginity. Are sensitive to your needs and actually cares about the things you care about, unlike your signifcant other. Which isn't a bad thing. If you are in a realtionship where you aren't being treated well then maybe it's time to get out. Not because you should be with a particular someone else, but just because you shouldn't have to put up with that. The only downside to the platonic friend in this scenario is that sometimes the situation doesn't go like it does above. Girl doesn't break up with boyfriend and end up with platonic friend. Unlike Rock's scenario even though the girl starts to see the platonic friend in a different light she doesn't break up with the boyfriend. That goes a little something like this:
Girl: I love spending time with you and I really like you a lot, but Ken needs me right now.
Platonic Friend: (thinking: no he doesn't, he needs to be shot) Well what does that mean, that you aren't interested in me?
Girl: No that's not it. It's just that, it isn't a good time for Ken and I to break up.
Platonic Friend:(thinking: yeah you should have broken up 5 months ago) I see, so then where does that leave us? Just buds hanging out...
Then you can end up in what I like to call the Matt/Kelly scenario. Kelly is dating Chris. Chris is a total jerk. (and no, not all women like jerks). So Kelly starts hanging out with Matt. Has a good time. Does most things boyfriend and girlfriends do. Matt waits for Kelly to break up with Chris. Kelly doesn't. Kelly thinks Chris is misunderstood and just needs her to be there for him. Matt is still watiting for Kelly to break up with Chris. (Maybe not anymore this was a year and a half ago).
So you are faced with a couple choices. Ride Kelly's whip, indefinitely or say hey Kelly since things aren't going anywhere we can't keep chillin' like this. It's too difficult for me to watch you waste your time of Chris. Even if we don't get togther you gotta drop Chris like 3rd period French. Or you can tell Kelly, "Hey, I'm out I don't have time for love triangles, quadrilaterals or tetrahedrons. The only problem is that most of the time you would rather just stay platonic friends so you can at least still see them. It's most annoying and confusing. The truth of the matter is that it's not cool to "ride someone's whip" so if you can get out then get out.
So I guess what I'm saying is. Girls and guys can't be just friends. You can act like you are just friends, but every once in a while a thought will cross one of your minds and either you will get together, stop chillin', mess up another person's relationship or just ignore it. Feel free to share your thoughts.
As always have a good day and enjoy. (If you dare).
Girl: (sobbing) I can't believe Kenneth would act like this. I can't believe what he said to me, can you?
Platonic Friend: (thinking: Yeah I can, and btw thanks Ken for acting like a jerk) No, I can't. You're so wonderful how could a guy treat you like that. I know I never would.
Girl: That's why you are so awesome. You are so in tune to my needs, unlike Ken. It's just that we've been together so long I know it's probably just stress and he'll get over it.
Platonic friend: (thinking: I hope not) Maybe. Are you happy right now? I mean look at how things are going. You should be taking better care of yourself...
(And you can take out the sobbing, replace girl with guy and trust me the situation would pretty much be the same just flipped)
And you can figure out where that conversation is going. See platonic friend is too smart. He will never actually bad mouth Ken, but he knows Ken is making fatal errors and he isn't about to say anything that is going to help Ken out.
I have a friend who recently has been put into the position of "platonic friend". He wasn't thinking about Keisha, at least not in that way. I mean Keisha is a great girl and all but she has been dating Robert for a while and my friend realized that things weren't going to happen so... Just chill out and have a good time. Keisha's good company no problem right? Then Rob started acting like a fool and Keisha and my friend started spending more and more time together. I think we've all been in this situation before. Whether we were Keisha, Rob, or my friend. Where a relationship isn't going that well and you realize that there are actually other people out there who treat you with respect and diginity. Are sensitive to your needs and actually cares about the things you care about, unlike your signifcant other. Which isn't a bad thing. If you are in a realtionship where you aren't being treated well then maybe it's time to get out. Not because you should be with a particular someone else, but just because you shouldn't have to put up with that. The only downside to the platonic friend in this scenario is that sometimes the situation doesn't go like it does above. Girl doesn't break up with boyfriend and end up with platonic friend. Unlike Rock's scenario even though the girl starts to see the platonic friend in a different light she doesn't break up with the boyfriend. That goes a little something like this:
Girl: I love spending time with you and I really like you a lot, but Ken needs me right now.
Platonic Friend: (thinking: no he doesn't, he needs to be shot) Well what does that mean, that you aren't interested in me?
Girl: No that's not it. It's just that, it isn't a good time for Ken and I to break up.
Platonic Friend:(thinking: yeah you should have broken up 5 months ago) I see, so then where does that leave us? Just buds hanging out...
Then you can end up in what I like to call the Matt/Kelly scenario. Kelly is dating Chris. Chris is a total jerk. (and no, not all women like jerks). So Kelly starts hanging out with Matt. Has a good time. Does most things boyfriend and girlfriends do. Matt waits for Kelly to break up with Chris. Kelly doesn't. Kelly thinks Chris is misunderstood and just needs her to be there for him. Matt is still watiting for Kelly to break up with Chris. (Maybe not anymore this was a year and a half ago).
So you are faced with a couple choices. Ride Kelly's whip, indefinitely or say hey Kelly since things aren't going anywhere we can't keep chillin' like this. It's too difficult for me to watch you waste your time of Chris. Even if we don't get togther you gotta drop Chris like 3rd period French. Or you can tell Kelly, "Hey, I'm out I don't have time for love triangles, quadrilaterals or tetrahedrons. The only problem is that most of the time you would rather just stay platonic friends so you can at least still see them. It's most annoying and confusing. The truth of the matter is that it's not cool to "ride someone's whip" so if you can get out then get out.
So I guess what I'm saying is. Girls and guys can't be just friends. You can act like you are just friends, but every once in a while a thought will cross one of your minds and either you will get together, stop chillin', mess up another person's relationship or just ignore it. Feel free to share your thoughts.
As always have a good day and enjoy. (If you dare).
Thursday, June 09, 2005
I give up, Everyone is better than me...
I have been really enjoying reading recent posts by all my fellow bloggers. You should check some of them out they are over there on the right near the bottom. (yes, I know it's a lot of work to scroll down, get over it.)
I was reading a really interesting post by the wonderful, lovely Lauren about relationships both romantic and platonic. She was saying that sometimes the relationships that we "fall into easily" are actually the most difficult ones to maintain because we may not have taken the time to really get to know the person. She also did clarify saying that many relationships die away for various reasons not just because they were whirlwind. She blames the media in her post, which I'm always a huge advocate of doing.
I thought about what she meant and I know that in this instance that I think I have traumatized my other friends with relationships I've had with totally different people. For example, they will see me become really "good friends" with someone. Spend every waking moment with that person and then all of a sudden I'm not with that person any more. Not because they aren't cool, but because for me it was just a phase I was going through and it usually happens with people like I am.
(Before I tell this story I would like to clarify that I'm straight. And you could replace the name of Shannon with the name of certain guys I know and it would be the same) I call it "falling in love with people" I am very choosy about who I fall in love with, but when I do I can't be with them enough (to a point). For example when I first moved to LA I met this girl named Shannon. We were coworkers and some how or other I realized that she was into books and movies as much as I was and I found that our interests coincided on a lot of mutual subjects. We started spending pretty much every waking moment together. We worked together, ate together, went out together, and pretty much did everything together. I wanted to know everything about her and I was pretty much into learning everything about her. Then after a while I realized ok I'm done now, but she isn't that type of person. I had pretty much gotten over the first "crush" phase I have with people and realized that in order to maintain a friendship we had to do more than just read and eat together. We had to share and live our lives together. So to speak. Now we are good friends because we both realized that our relationship was worth working on and getting deeper.
I was reading a really interesting post by the wonderful, lovely Lauren about relationships both romantic and platonic. She was saying that sometimes the relationships that we "fall into easily" are actually the most difficult ones to maintain because we may not have taken the time to really get to know the person. She also did clarify saying that many relationships die away for various reasons not just because they were whirlwind. She blames the media in her post, which I'm always a huge advocate of doing.
I thought about what she meant and I know that in this instance that I think I have traumatized my other friends with relationships I've had with totally different people. For example, they will see me become really "good friends" with someone. Spend every waking moment with that person and then all of a sudden I'm not with that person any more. Not because they aren't cool, but because for me it was just a phase I was going through and it usually happens with people like I am.
(Before I tell this story I would like to clarify that I'm straight. And you could replace the name of Shannon with the name of certain guys I know and it would be the same) I call it "falling in love with people" I am very choosy about who I fall in love with, but when I do I can't be with them enough (to a point). For example when I first moved to LA I met this girl named Shannon. We were coworkers and some how or other I realized that she was into books and movies as much as I was and I found that our interests coincided on a lot of mutual subjects. We started spending pretty much every waking moment together. We worked together, ate together, went out together, and pretty much did everything together. I wanted to know everything about her and I was pretty much into learning everything about her. Then after a while I realized ok I'm done now, but she isn't that type of person. I had pretty much gotten over the first "crush" phase I have with people and realized that in order to maintain a friendship we had to do more than just read and eat together. We had to share and live our lives together. So to speak. Now we are good friends because we both realized that our relationship was worth working on and getting deeper.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Your #1 Match: ISFJ |
| The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. |
Your #2 Match: ISTJ |
| The Duty Fulfiller You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done.You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings.Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you.Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy. You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer. |
Your #3 Match: INFJ |
| The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. |
Your #4 Match: INTJ |
| The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer. |
Your #5 Match: ESFJ |
| The Caregiver You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people. You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher. |
Now that's interesting...
Throughout the year at Kairos we have been discussing groups both domestic and international that have been socially, economically or politically marginalized by their government or other governments. For the most part I think in hopes of raising awareness of what is actually going on in the world which sadly I feel most Americans are unaware of and also to see possible roles we can play in positively impacting these situations.
I read a really cool post by Donna about the role Amnesty International plays in raising awareness of human rights injustices around the globe. She points out that they have recently gotten some flack about their 2005 report because of some of their terminology which might have left something to be desired. But as she later stated maybe they could have had better word choice, but the fact of the matter is they are effective.
I guess this mainly jumped out at me because between talks at Kairos and Donna's post. I started realizing how insular my thinking about national/international injustices had become and how unaware I am of what is really happening in the world and thinking of ways I can effect change.
Ethnictoid(not quite black): I was riding in the car with my friend Christeen, who is german, yesterday and I was telling her a little anecdote from work that day about how this little boy and I were discussing how women of various ethnic groups express their displeasure in the younger generations. Then we moved on to stereotypes of groups in general and why they are the way they are. For example I was telling her that sometimes I feel that the large part of the black population can be excessively critical of other black people which I have mentioned in previous blactoids. This led to us talking about how I think most people feeling their ethnicity is part of their identity, but Christeen was saying that she feels that a lot of white people in this country don't. They just think of themselves as such and such who has these qualities. And speaking as a black person I know I feel like being black is very much so a part of my identity. I can only speak from my own perspective, but I could kinda see what she meant based on the conversations I've had with my friends of varying ethnicities. Please feel free to share your thoughts.
As always have a good day and enjoy.
I read a really cool post by Donna about the role Amnesty International plays in raising awareness of human rights injustices around the globe. She points out that they have recently gotten some flack about their 2005 report because of some of their terminology which might have left something to be desired. But as she later stated maybe they could have had better word choice, but the fact of the matter is they are effective.
I guess this mainly jumped out at me because between talks at Kairos and Donna's post. I started realizing how insular my thinking about national/international injustices had become and how unaware I am of what is really happening in the world and thinking of ways I can effect change.
Ethnictoid(not quite black): I was riding in the car with my friend Christeen, who is german, yesterday and I was telling her a little anecdote from work that day about how this little boy and I were discussing how women of various ethnic groups express their displeasure in the younger generations. Then we moved on to stereotypes of groups in general and why they are the way they are. For example I was telling her that sometimes I feel that the large part of the black population can be excessively critical of other black people which I have mentioned in previous blactoids. This led to us talking about how I think most people feeling their ethnicity is part of their identity, but Christeen was saying that she feels that a lot of white people in this country don't. They just think of themselves as such and such who has these qualities. And speaking as a black person I know I feel like being black is very much so a part of my identity. I can only speak from my own perspective, but I could kinda see what she meant based on the conversations I've had with my friends of varying ethnicities. Please feel free to share your thoughts.
As always have a good day and enjoy.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Deserve...
de·serve (d-zûrv) v. tr. To be worthy of; merit
"I deserve more than you can give me."
"I don't deserve to be treated this way!"
"You deserve a promotion after all the hard work you have done."
"I deserve to live without fear."
"I deserve a decent place to stay!"
"I deserve to be able to do whatever I want!"
"I deserve equal treatment and equal pay!"
"I deserve the right to live!"
"It sounded old. Deserve. Old, tired and beaten to death...he was always saying or thinking he didn't deserve some bad luck or some bad treatment from others...Apparently he thought he deserved only to be loved-from a distance, though-and given what he wanted....Maybe all he was really saying was: I am not responsible for your pain; share your happiness with me but not your unhappiness." -Milkman "Song of Solomon"
I think that sometimes it's easy to get confused between what we think we deserve and what we actually deserve. I've been reading Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and as I near the end of it I watch the character Milkman and his views about how he thinks his life should be and what he deserves. Then I look at my life and think about what I THINK I deserve. In the things we truly deserve there is a truth and a rightness that can't be denied when it hasn't been attained. It's that same thing that keeps us trying. And then I realize where the real cause of my frustration comes from. It isn't from not getting what I actually deserve. It's about not getting the things I think I deserve. When I look deep into my reasons and my logic I realize how unjustified they are, how selfish they can be, and how they can consume my thoughts with their superficiality, I'm sometimes shocked. Then when I do get something I don't deserve how I can be sooo self-righteous, like it should have been mine in the first place completely missing the fact that is was a gift and unearned and unmeritted.
What do you deserve?
Tanika's Relationship Tip#11: Suprising the other person with thoughtfulness. In any relationship (friendship or romantic) sometimes it's easy to get bogged (*small chuckle* sorry Daniel) down with the mundane things of everyday life. That's why I think it's important to think about the little things that make the other person happy and when possible and within reason, surprising your significant other with small acts of kindness that bring joy to them and to you. Like opening the door to the UPS man and getting a package and not realizing it's for you because it isn't your birthday yet and it's not Christmas and opening and seeing one of your most favoritest things in the whole wide world inside. I guess it's really about thinking about the other person and not just focusing on what yourself and what you can get out of the relationship, but how you can appreciate the other person. Or instead of going to KFC and saying "I'm sure you'll find something you can eat." knowing they are a vegetarian you could try that new Vegan restaurant up the street (As long as it wouldn't annoy you or anything, and even if it does get over it). And whatever it is should be something that feels natural and comfortable to you as well otherwise it will seem like some sort of chore and it really isn't because it's you just trying to make some else feel better and at the same time nuture the relationship you have together.
Toodles for now and as always have a good day and enjoy.
"I deserve more than you can give me."
"I don't deserve to be treated this way!"
"You deserve a promotion after all the hard work you have done."
"I deserve to live without fear."
"I deserve a decent place to stay!"
"I deserve to be able to do whatever I want!"
"I deserve equal treatment and equal pay!"
"I deserve the right to live!"
"It sounded old. Deserve. Old, tired and beaten to death...he was always saying or thinking he didn't deserve some bad luck or some bad treatment from others...Apparently he thought he deserved only to be loved-from a distance, though-and given what he wanted....Maybe all he was really saying was: I am not responsible for your pain; share your happiness with me but not your unhappiness." -Milkman "Song of Solomon"
I think that sometimes it's easy to get confused between what we think we deserve and what we actually deserve. I've been reading Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and as I near the end of it I watch the character Milkman and his views about how he thinks his life should be and what he deserves. Then I look at my life and think about what I THINK I deserve. In the things we truly deserve there is a truth and a rightness that can't be denied when it hasn't been attained. It's that same thing that keeps us trying. And then I realize where the real cause of my frustration comes from. It isn't from not getting what I actually deserve. It's about not getting the things I think I deserve. When I look deep into my reasons and my logic I realize how unjustified they are, how selfish they can be, and how they can consume my thoughts with their superficiality, I'm sometimes shocked. Then when I do get something I don't deserve how I can be sooo self-righteous, like it should have been mine in the first place completely missing the fact that is was a gift and unearned and unmeritted.
What do you deserve?
Tanika's Relationship Tip#11: Suprising the other person with thoughtfulness. In any relationship (friendship or romantic) sometimes it's easy to get bogged (*small chuckle* sorry Daniel) down with the mundane things of everyday life. That's why I think it's important to think about the little things that make the other person happy and when possible and within reason, surprising your significant other with small acts of kindness that bring joy to them and to you. Like opening the door to the UPS man and getting a package and not realizing it's for you because it isn't your birthday yet and it's not Christmas and opening and seeing one of your most favoritest things in the whole wide world inside. I guess it's really about thinking about the other person and not just focusing on what yourself and what you can get out of the relationship, but how you can appreciate the other person. Or instead of going to KFC and saying "I'm sure you'll find something you can eat." knowing they are a vegetarian you could try that new Vegan restaurant up the street (As long as it wouldn't annoy you or anything, and even if it does get over it). And whatever it is should be something that feels natural and comfortable to you as well otherwise it will seem like some sort of chore and it really isn't because it's you just trying to make some else feel better and at the same time nuture the relationship you have together.
Toodles for now and as always have a good day and enjoy.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Cowboy Troy and Other Atrocities
The other day my friend Fred (change the name to protect the guilty) asked me if I had heard of this new guy on the scene Cowboy Troy. I guess he mixes hip-hop/rap with country music. Fred says "Hick-hop" will be the new craze. Somehow I doubt it. It's almost scary really. You should check out his "I play chicken with the train" video. It's so scary it's unreal. It's like this weird amalgamation of a typical black man's video and a country video (and yes there are midgets!)
Moving on, my good friend Brooke posted a wonderful entry that I absolutely loved and that leads me to something that has been pressing on my mind over the past couple of weeks as L.A. moves into another blazingly hot summer. As the temperatures rise people seek ways to "Beat the Heat". Whether it's losing the shirt for guys, or wearing skimpy clothes for the ladies, people will do anything to try to stay cool in this weather or enjoy it whatever the case may be, even if it isnt' socially acceptable.
As I have travelled to various parts of the city I have been accosted (visually at least) by many a faux pas as a result of people not knowing how to appropriately enjoy the weather. So here I have compiled yet again another list of LA do's and dont's (The Summer Edition) :
(Most important rule in my african american opinion)
Do: Get out there, go to the beach and get some sun wearing the appropriate level of spf. (Nothing wrong with that)
Don't: Walk around looking like THE red lobster after you told your worried african american friend a trite phrase like "I don't burn" or "All my burn turns to tan" We can't take it.
Do: (Ladies and Gents) Wear summer appropriate footwear that help keep you cool and (ladies) show off that cute pedicure.
Don't: Wear sandals or flip flops if your feet are so jacked up it looks like your toes are throwing gang signs. (exception old people with arthritis; and I'm gonna need a note)
Do: Wear clothes that are cool and comfortable for your SIZE and BODY type. (Hey just because you a little thick doesn't been you can't stay cool)
Don't: Wear belly shirts if you KNOW you shouldn't be, (goodness) walking around threatening indecent exposure charges. Or wear a spousal corrector (you know what I mean) tee-shirt if you weigh less than 100 pounds. Just not gonna work. And remember bermuda shorts and pedal pushers are making a comeback and for better or worse so are culottes (eww!)
That's all I have for now. Please feel free to contribute your personal opinions. And remember in LA fashion knows no temperature.
Tanika's Relationsship Tip #10: In keeping with atrocities I guess my tip should deal with that right? A friend of mine told me this past week that it's important to communicate with the person you are dating or married to. She is recently engaged and we were having a discussion about being open and communicating with your significant other. I told her that sometimes I don't feel like talking and that I would be better off with someone like me. But the truth is I don't like that about me. I want to be able to talk and share with the person that I will spend my life with. If I can't then how can I expect the relationship to work? It goes back to the tip I gave about being true to who you are. Because if you aren't then your whole relationship is built on a lie and ultimately won't work. Being open with the person I'm with is the only way they can truly get to know me and it's the only real way to stay true to myself and vice versa. My friend Daniel made a comment about marriage being the most intimate relationship two people can have. And in the hope that the relationship you are in is moving in that direction it makes sense that you want to nuture your relationship so that it will be strong and functioning. I always think when I meet the right person I'll be able to be open and honest and communicate freely with them, but the truth is that if I find that impossible to do now there is no way I will be able to to it when it really matters. The real atrocity would be to keep yourself hidden or closed off from the person that you are in a relationshipo with.
Moving on, my good friend Brooke posted a wonderful entry that I absolutely loved and that leads me to something that has been pressing on my mind over the past couple of weeks as L.A. moves into another blazingly hot summer. As the temperatures rise people seek ways to "Beat the Heat". Whether it's losing the shirt for guys, or wearing skimpy clothes for the ladies, people will do anything to try to stay cool in this weather or enjoy it whatever the case may be, even if it isnt' socially acceptable.
As I have travelled to various parts of the city I have been accosted (visually at least) by many a faux pas as a result of people not knowing how to appropriately enjoy the weather. So here I have compiled yet again another list of LA do's and dont's (The Summer Edition) :
(Most important rule in my african american opinion)
Do: Get out there, go to the beach and get some sun wearing the appropriate level of spf. (Nothing wrong with that)
Don't: Walk around looking like THE red lobster after you told your worried african american friend a trite phrase like "I don't burn" or "All my burn turns to tan" We can't take it.
Do: (Ladies and Gents) Wear summer appropriate footwear that help keep you cool and (ladies) show off that cute pedicure.
Don't: Wear sandals or flip flops if your feet are so jacked up it looks like your toes are throwing gang signs. (exception old people with arthritis; and I'm gonna need a note)
Do: Wear clothes that are cool and comfortable for your SIZE and BODY type. (Hey just because you a little thick doesn't been you can't stay cool)
Don't: Wear belly shirts if you KNOW you shouldn't be, (goodness) walking around threatening indecent exposure charges. Or wear a spousal corrector (you know what I mean) tee-shirt if you weigh less than 100 pounds. Just not gonna work. And remember bermuda shorts and pedal pushers are making a comeback and for better or worse so are culottes (eww!)
That's all I have for now. Please feel free to contribute your personal opinions. And remember in LA fashion knows no temperature.
Tanika's Relationsship Tip #10: In keeping with atrocities I guess my tip should deal with that right? A friend of mine told me this past week that it's important to communicate with the person you are dating or married to. She is recently engaged and we were having a discussion about being open and communicating with your significant other. I told her that sometimes I don't feel like talking and that I would be better off with someone like me. But the truth is I don't like that about me. I want to be able to talk and share with the person that I will spend my life with. If I can't then how can I expect the relationship to work? It goes back to the tip I gave about being true to who you are. Because if you aren't then your whole relationship is built on a lie and ultimately won't work. Being open with the person I'm with is the only way they can truly get to know me and it's the only real way to stay true to myself and vice versa. My friend Daniel made a comment about marriage being the most intimate relationship two people can have. And in the hope that the relationship you are in is moving in that direction it makes sense that you want to nuture your relationship so that it will be strong and functioning. I always think when I meet the right person I'll be able to be open and honest and communicate freely with them, but the truth is that if I find that impossible to do now there is no way I will be able to to it when it really matters. The real atrocity would be to keep yourself hidden or closed off from the person that you are in a relationshipo with.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Shaw's take on things
I have to admit that I don't enjoy watching most of the shows that come on television these days, although there are some exceptions. None of them, however, are aired on the WB especially shows like Gilmore Girls or Beauty and the Geek. But Sunday I found myself watching the season finale of One Tree Hill (a good friend of mine watches it so...) Anyway I was watching the show and I don't know much about the characters but they had to write and end of the year paper about their opinion of a quote by George Bernard Shaw.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."
I sorta got stuck thinking about this quote and not really focusing on the show. (Sorry person who I was watching the show with). But I did keep a small eye on what various people were saying. One character referred to Shaw as a punk. Another said he didn't know what he was talking about. Most of them agreed with the first part of his statement. That a tragedy of life is to lose your heart' desire and they elaborated on what THAT really meant. But it seemed to be pretty uniform that it can't possibly be a tragedy to gain your heart's desire no matter what.
But as Anna pointed out in a comment to my last post. Sometimes what a heart desire's might not be the best thing for us. I'm currently reading Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and one of the characters Hagar is in love with her cousin Milkman and has been dating him for the past 12 years. Suddenly Milkman realizes he doesn't want to be with her. She is tramatized by this and realizes that if she can't live in this world with Milkman then she would rather kill him than see him with anyone else. So once a month she stalks him and tries to kill him. But the truth of the matter is that throughout the course of there relationship Milkman has just been using her anyway. He doesn't love or care about her. So the irony of it all is that what she wants most in this world doesn't want her and is definitely not good for her.
I thought about this and realized that sometimes I can be a lot like Hagar. I'll get what I thought I always wanted, but in reality it will be tearing me apart inside and out. Then I will be devastated when I can't have it anymore when in reality I never should have had it in the first place. Feel free to share your thoughts on this subject.
Blactoid: A quote found before the beginning of Song of Solomon is "The fathers may soar and the children may know their names". This is one of my favorite quotes. Not just because it sounds good but because of it's deeper meaning. Morrison traces back to the flying myth of black men. She is referring to our forefathers who flew from slavery. A lot of blacks after slavery ended had to register themselves with the government. Most couldn't read or write. So a lot of family names were lost and they were forced to keep names given to them by slave owners. Some people felt this naming kept them further in bondage. I think that when they were able to name themselves and give identity to both themselves and their children it was a liberating experience and the children would be aware of where they came from.
Anyhoo as always have a good day and as always enjoy.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."
I sorta got stuck thinking about this quote and not really focusing on the show. (Sorry person who I was watching the show with). But I did keep a small eye on what various people were saying. One character referred to Shaw as a punk. Another said he didn't know what he was talking about. Most of them agreed with the first part of his statement. That a tragedy of life is to lose your heart' desire and they elaborated on what THAT really meant. But it seemed to be pretty uniform that it can't possibly be a tragedy to gain your heart's desire no matter what.
But as Anna pointed out in a comment to my last post. Sometimes what a heart desire's might not be the best thing for us. I'm currently reading Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and one of the characters Hagar is in love with her cousin Milkman and has been dating him for the past 12 years. Suddenly Milkman realizes he doesn't want to be with her. She is tramatized by this and realizes that if she can't live in this world with Milkman then she would rather kill him than see him with anyone else. So once a month she stalks him and tries to kill him. But the truth of the matter is that throughout the course of there relationship Milkman has just been using her anyway. He doesn't love or care about her. So the irony of it all is that what she wants most in this world doesn't want her and is definitely not good for her.
I thought about this and realized that sometimes I can be a lot like Hagar. I'll get what I thought I always wanted, but in reality it will be tearing me apart inside and out. Then I will be devastated when I can't have it anymore when in reality I never should have had it in the first place. Feel free to share your thoughts on this subject.
Blactoid: A quote found before the beginning of Song of Solomon is "The fathers may soar and the children may know their names". This is one of my favorite quotes. Not just because it sounds good but because of it's deeper meaning. Morrison traces back to the flying myth of black men. She is referring to our forefathers who flew from slavery. A lot of blacks after slavery ended had to register themselves with the government. Most couldn't read or write. So a lot of family names were lost and they were forced to keep names given to them by slave owners. Some people felt this naming kept them further in bondage. I think that when they were able to name themselves and give identity to both themselves and their children it was a liberating experience and the children would be aware of where they came from.
Anyhoo as always have a good day and as always enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
