Passing...(and the return of the blactoid)

I've recently been reading Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe. Very few "fictional" stories evoked such an emotional response. Although this book has been labeled racist or romanticized it has definitely been an eye opening experience. One thing in particular that caught my I was the treatment of "mixed" blacks and "full-blooded" blacks of each other.

Something that always bothered me was the cruelty of black people to other black people. Especially in a time when they should be helping each other. If any of you remember my blactoid about nappy hair. You'll remember me talking about how some people are obsessed with what is termed "good hair". That's not the only thing they can be obsessed with. It could be skin color or "black features". In the not so distant past a lot of black people wanted to "pass" for white people so that they could get ahead in life. Some black people saw this as a betrayal of their race. Some thought of it as an opportunity to improve the quality of their life.

In uncle Tom's Cabin there is a scene in Dinah's kitchen that epitomizes this. If you read you'll find Stowe writes:

"Come,--clar out, you! I can't have you cluttering up the kitchen," said Dinah; "in my way, foolin' round here."
"Aunt Dinah's glum, because she can't go to the ball," said Rosa.
"Don't want none o' your light-colored balls," said Dinah; "cuttin' round, makin' b'lieve you's white folks. Arter all, you's niggers, much as I am."
"Aunt Dinah greases her wool stiff, every day, to make it lie straight," said Jane.
"And it will be wool, after all," said Rosa, maliciously shaking down her long, silky curls.
"Well, in the Lord's sight, an't wool as good as bar, any time?" said Dinah. "I'd like to have Missis say which is worth the most,--a couple such as you, or one like me. Get out wid ye, ye trumpery,--I won't have ye round!"

A lot of other ethnic people I talk to tell me how much emphasis is placed on lighter skin or whiter features. Being about as black as they come I've never really had this problem. Stressing out over whether I could "pass", but I've definitely had a lot of comments on why I wasn't black enough for black people or how I was too black for black people and every other comment in between. I invariably get the question do I wish that I could have been born another color. To which I respond...well you'll just have to ask me yourself.

I guess what stuck out to me the most was not so much the treatment of blacks by whites, but how some black people would look down on others because of their skin color when that was what white people were doing to them. Mistreating them and acting like they weren't human. And then they would turn around and do the same. Crazy! Anyway more to come...I think I might just have to make a blactoid section.

Anyway have a good day and enjoy.

Tanika's Relationship Tip #6:If you want to have a good long term relationship, don't date someone solely for superficial reasons. This might seem like common sense, but I can't count the number of times I've seen couples or heard someone talk about a person they wanted to date because they thought the person was HOT or SEXY. Then you ask them what they liked about that person and it was limited to the physical. Now if all you are looking for is the physical then skip this tip. It isn't for you. The first thing you should be aware of is yourself. What kind of person are you: Intense/focused/laid back. Then KNOW what complements you. IF you are high strung the last thing you need is someone who is high strung. You'll drive each other crazy in a week. You need to be with someone who is sympathetic and knows and actually enjoys helping you relax. If you need to have space you can't be with an emotional co-dependent. You'll kill that person after a few hours. Like Chris Rock said. In a relationship you gotta be into the same stuff. If you are born again then they should be born again. If you are a crackhead they gotta be a crackhead. You can't be like:

"Hey where you are you going?"
"Church, what about you?"
"I'm going to hit the pipe."

Won't work.