(Please find link to Logic Problems on my sidebar)
As most of you know I enjoy participating in events or activities outside of my cultural comfort zone (i.e. Dawali or Chinese new year) We'll last night I participated in my first Seder. Like the little geek I am, I read up all the information I could on Seders and what everything means. Couldn't help it. I won't share all my thoughts here but, if you wanna see what I thought check out the other me.
On a different, last night as a result of being in mixed company (I think ) the conversation took and inevitable turn to relationships (my new favorite topic). I won't bore you with the details of what was said. All I can tell you is there was definitely some blushing and awkward moments. And some very interesting dreams for me last night.
(This entry is more of thoughts than a particular relationship tip)But it did make me think about the whole concept of "experience" one brings to a relationship. And I'm not just talking about sexual/physical experience. I think a lot of emphasis is placed on this already so I won't delve into this topic, but feel free to dialogue with me on this subject. But I guess I'm referring to life experience in general. I think I've had this conversation with some people before when they ask me why I'm not interested in one of all the cool guys at Kairos. Even though most of the single guys are "crush worthy". And one of my first response is that I feel that most of them are too inexperienced for me. But what I mean is that my perception (which could be all wrong) of them is that they are too idealistic/conservative/naive/untried in certain aspects of life. And I always wonder does this really matter because shouldn't maturity count for something? Then I try to think of how diverse the maturation process can be and how can I judge someone I barely know when I find it so difficult to let people get to know me. My comments before might seem a little harsh on this particular set of guys, but those are my view in general of guys my age anyway. (Hence why I tend to be interested in guys seriously older than I am although not recently) It's not like I have a hard time relating to guys at all, it's just that sometimes when I let a little more of myself out and they freak out or get squeamish or in general make comments that make me think, "Yeah they are nice and all, but..." then I immediately lump them into a category of the aforementioned variety. I guess it's kinda what JR was talking about on Sunday. How if we don't know people very well we put them into this box based on a limited amount of observations we are able to make. Geek, Funny, Naive, Idealistic, Gay. I usually want a guy's life experience to, if not match my own, then at least he can understand and not be weirded out by it or me. But maybe it's the case that his experiences are the kind I need to compliment me and my expectations of the "experiences" he "should" have are all confused and mixed up.
Last night some comments were made about guys going into a relationship with some experience and to some degree I agree with this. At least from things I have stated above. But what I also think this relates back to is not wanting someone to bring past relationship baggage into the relationship, because that is the kind of experience I can do without and the same goes for women bringing that into a relationship with a guy. I don't want to spend our time together trying to deal with untold damage someone else has done to that person.
I guess there are pros and cons to "experience" . I guess maybe it's just a matter of learning and growing that allows you to bring maturity from those experiences into the relationship in whatever form they take and not letting them be something that divides you.
I am 50% Left Brain and 50% Right Brain. Interesting...
| You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained |
 Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
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3 comments:
Weren't we talking about experience pretty recently? I dunno, maybe it was ions ago and just seems recent. Anyway, right on! There are definitely pros and cons to experience, and people are bad about judging each other. I tend to make presumptions about how "experienced" people are and then get annoyed when people make presumptions about my experience. Thanks for helping me see another area of hypocrisy I need to work on.
Is it possible that when we say experience, we mean "experiences like mine or that arrives at conclusions like mine or that I'm interested in learning about"? While it is possible that people may actually lack "experience," I think it is more often the case that we mean they lack certain "experiences"- having their heart broken by the person they adore and having to go to work smiling the next day, losing a close family member to domestic violence, having to recove with good friends through rape, having to deal with shoestring budgets and broken down cars, doing everything for someone and getting shunned by them. There may be a lot to learn from the "inexperienced", especially now that we value open intuition over conditioned cynicism. But then again, there are those who are seriously handicapped by lacking even a modicum of common experience- they are like children, only good for playing with puzzles and stacking things.
As for the passover seder, an interesting article
http://www.killingthebuddha.com/dogma/exodus.htm
When I refer to experience that's probably why I put it in quotation marks. I'm not even sure what it is I expect which is why I shouldn't be hung up about it in the first place. But to clarify I don't expect someones experiences to match my own, but I guess I would like someone who realizes that things aren't idealistic and that their experiences set them up for a life of idealism. Because that isn't me.
I also thought about plain common sense because that and maturity should count for something right? On a different note I don't want someone who is better and cynical. I guess that's why it's a twisted thread. I guess I just think that certain life experiences help teach a person adaptability and that is what I need. You don't have go through the fire and flame just realize that I might have and it doesn't mean I'm still not a valuable person.
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