Fish with the black tail...

Why fish, oh fish with the black tail
You won't let the others eat, it's enough to make me wail
As I drop the food inside, I'm trying not to waste
But you eat it so quickly, the others can't get a taste
I'm angry at you fish, do you want to know why?
The way you eat all the food the other fish will die.

I'm taking care of Dawson's fish while he is gone. Every time I put food in the tank the big one with the black tail eats all the food before the other smaller ones get a taste. I try to distract him while I feed the others.

...Of Mice and Men...

As I have stated to some people I have been highly frustrated over the past couple of days trying to post some blogs and through technical difficulties and my own stupidity I kept deleting my blogs. And though I say it myself I felt like all those blogs were some of my finest writing ever. (Yes I know I'm modest). I told Lauren today I give up I'm not blogging anymore. Clearly I was just kidding.

I figure as long as I don't try to say anything I think anyone would actually want to hear then my blog will turn out just fine right? Right!

I went to see the movie Hitch last night. It was hilariously funny. I laughed so loud that if everyone else hadn't been laughing so loud as well then I would have been a serious disruption. I definitely want to see it again. And for those of you who hate romantic comedies it's has so many funny parts that you can almost forget about the romance, almost. I'm not sure who wrote the script, but they were definitely on point about the things they had the characters saying. There are some guys AND girls who I really want to see it. You will know who you are when I ask you if you want to go to the movies with me.

Even though I can't stand modern romance movies (I'm not talking about romantic comedies with funny bits) I'm talking stuff like the Closer. I do enjoy some romance. Some of you might not know it but I love movies based on books written by British authors during the 17th/18th-century. This also might be shocking to some people who don't know me well, but Jane Austen is my favorite author. Having a bad day. Break out a little Austen and everything is just a little better. Some of my friends know me so well that when they see me carrying an Austen novel they immediately ask me what's wrong. Sometimes I just like reading them again you guys. I've read everything she has ever written (multiple times) and seen every movie based on her novels. But somehow I can't stand modern romance movies. They get on my nerves soooooo much. Why? I don't know. It's like everyone in the movie is trying to hook-up with someone. They met on a Friday, slept with each other on Saturday, had a huge fight, realized they were in love on Sunday and are ready to get married by Monday. Everything is cliches and the intelligent conversation is kept to a minimum. Where is the ROMANCE. I didn't see it. All I saw were people hooking up.

Alas I'm a romantic at heart. However most movies focus on hooking up not wooing. That's why I like period pieces. I like the idea of someone courting another person. Actually taking the time to realize what that person likes and doesn't like. Doing little things that bring happiness and pleasure without taking. I guess when I'm interested in someone I enjoy focusing on them and learning things about that person, but I like it to be like a Chinese puzzle box. Everyday you find a new compartment. Being constantly surprised. It's like a treasure hunt where the treasure is a new deeper level of intimacy. But maybe people don't really want that. Maybe people like to keep things as superficial as possible. I know I'm probably the only one who feels this way, but that's cool. I'm holding out for Mr. Darcy anyway.

Blactoid: Growing up I've been asked a lot of interesting questions by people who aren't black about black people's hair. Some were joking, confused, borderline rude, and downright offensive. This subject has caused a lot of division especially among the black community. Some people have become obsessed with having long hair that is perfectly straight while others are obsessed with wearing theirs natural. The whole concept of "nappy" has caused more arguments than a little bit. People hate on nappy hair and people who are happy to be nappy hate on people who straighten theirs. People ask me why don't I do all these crazy things to my head. 1st: I don't like just any old person touching my head. 2nd: It's expensive. I was telling Lauren today that to get your hair styled starts at about $100. You think I'm paying for that! psshh! please! 3rd: And what I feel is most important is I don't care. I just want my hair to be manageable enough for me to comb it. Function over form my friends, function over form. But here is your opportunity. Any questions you want to ask me about my hair or black people's hair in general now is the time. Post it on this blog and I'll answer all queries. Also feel free to ask me in person. Have a good day and as always enjoy.

Valentine Weekend Extravaganza...

This past weekend Lauren came to visit me for fun and festivities in L.A. We had such a good time talking and catching up I lost my voice on Tuesday. Taking the dubious advice of a coworker I got it back by Wednesday. I always enjoy having Lauren down for a visit because we always have some sort of adventure and hijinks. Plus she is one of the few people who I can relax around and be as goofy as I want to be and know I'll still be loved. Not very many people would enjoy spending a Saturday playing on the beach except maybe Kevin (because he did too).

She also allows me to indulge my idiotsyncrasies as much as I like as I do the same for her. Good times. The funny part is I spend a lot of time trying to figure out fun things for us to do. Then when it's time for her to go I realize all the things I wanted us to do together. I did feel mildly bad this visit there were a few times I wanted to do my own thing and left Lauren to fend for herself. But goodness she has been to L.A. so many times she can take care of herself. Plus with the help of Kevin Liu and Tim Fescoe we both had a really good time. Special shout out to Tim Fescoe for being so amazingly wonderful, if you want to know why check out Lauren's blog.

Anyhoo as my time at Sawtelle comes to a close I reflect back over the ups and downs of this past year and try to assess what my priorities should be for the next year. I've been doing a lot of heavy thinking about the direction of my life and where I see myself...alas I won't bore you with all those details you'll read about my misadventures as I have them.

I found out recently that some new people have been reading my blog. I won't name names to protect the innocent and not so guilty. I hope you found it an interesting experience and I hope you will feel free to leave comments you have. For those who are new to my blog I would like to reiterate the disclaimer that I gave in the beginning. Life is not for the faint hearted and neither is my blog. Have a good day and as always enjoy.

Blactoid: While many people who live in Los Angeles don't have much respect for them traffic signals are integral part of American infrastructure. Garrett Morgan and African-American inventor decided to invent a traffic signal to help deal with the growing number of accidents that occurred as a result of motorized vehicles. Aren't we all glad he did? (Was that a "no" I heard?)

Mama Drama...

This past week was an emotionally stressful one as some of you know. I was innocently going on my way on Tuesday when I got a phone call from my older sister. She told me that my mother had gone into the doctor for a check-up and in the middle of it she started having a problem with her heart and they thought she might be having a heart attack. She went immediately to the hospital which is where she was when my sister called.

I tried to get as much information from my sister as possible, but she didn't know much and when I asked if I could speak with my mother she said she wasn't in a place where she could use a phone. She said she would call me back later with more details. I was on my way into work at the mathnasium and I must say that I was in a severe case of shock. I didn't know what to do or think and I must admit that a lot of thoughts were going through my mind. I was going to try to go to work any way because there wasn't much I could do except pray and wait. When I got into the mathnasium I tried to talk to my director and immediately burst out crying. To say I was stressed is a mild understatement. When I could finally get out what I was trying to say my director was like you don't have to work today just let me know what's going on. I left and started walking down the street. Walking is my cure all for stress, but it wasn't going to work. I need some serious alone time. I went to Santa Monica beach and just sat there staring out at the water waiting for my sister to call back. By the end of the night I had a monster of a headache.

I finally talked to both my mom and my sister and they both told me the same thing. The doctors weren't sure what caused it so more tests. The next day she was still in the hospital and waiting for the results of more tests. The tests she took came back abnormal so more tests. This afternoon she is supposed to be released from the hospital because they said that it was mostly stress related but it was causing her to have physical symptoms and they pretty much just kept her pumped full of drugs and stuff. The end result is she is going to be ok, but of course she is gonna need some medication and some lifestyle changes. Unfortunately the things that aren't going well aren't that easy to change. For those of you who know the Evans Drama. Anyway so suffice to say we are all worn out in more ways than one and I'm happy that my mom gets to come home from the hospital today. Otherwise I would already be on the east coast. You guys know how impetuous I can be.

The irony of it as is that my mom has been having chest pains and dizziness for a while. She doesn't like to tell me because she knows how stressed out and worried I get about her. Well anyway she was trying to go to the doctor, but because she doesn't have insurance it is difficult especially when they can't figure out what is wrong. They kept giving her the run around and the money started to add up. Well suffice to say she stopped going. Not because she was feeling better, but because she couldn't afford it or the time off work. My mom is a woman who would refuse and ambulance. For me it's frustrating to know that my mom needs medical care, but can't get it and there isn't anything I can do about it. Anyhoo...

To end on a good note I found out at the age of 25 I'm gonna be a big sister again. My stepmom is pregnant. That makes 8 of us chil'ren. Isn't that special. That made my mom laugh the hardest when she was in hospital. Anyway I hope you all have a good day and as usual enjoy.

Blactoid: Last night I was talking in the car with Judy and we were discussing race relations and various things of that nature. I told her about the blactoids and the things I was trying to share on my blog. Because of a new bogus law that just passed in VA I was telling her about other bogus laws in black history. Like the Jim Crow Laws. She couldn't believe what I was telling her. So I thought I'd share some with you.

Collecting Pigs for Dummies

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting around on a Friday night watching novelas (Spanish soap operas) with my roommate Manola and we started talking about the types of people we were. I was telling her about a recent personality test I had taken that actually came out fairly accurate. One of the things it said people of my type did as a child was have collections. I said that was true. Some of you know I collected Spiderman comics during my teenage years (for obvious reasons). For the past 6 years I've been collecting stubs from movies I've been to see. I know this sounds weird, but if you want to know why feel free to ask me. I'm in the process of making them into a scrap book.

Some people know about my oddest collection however. I collect pigs. I know what your thinking...did she just say she collects pigs. And yes I said I collect pigs. Manola was like, "WHY?" clearly she like most people aren't very interested in pigs so why collect them. I have to admit I don't just collect any pig. It has to be special. So I usually only get one or two a year. In the general irreverent style that is Tanika I like to give my pigs Jewish names. Anyway most people don't know why I started collecting pigs. I thought I'd give you a brief glimpse into my personality by telling you why. The nature of most people's collections tell you a little bit about themselves. I have to admit I already had a fondness for pigs before I started collecting them. They are intelligent, hardworking, and loyal. Who wouldn't love that. I also think they are cute in a weird pig way.

Anyway when I was about 13 and I was looking into one of those mechanical arm machines you put a quarter in and get a cheesy prize or stuffed animal out of. I was with some friends who were all trying to get a cool prize out of the machine. Of course they all wasted their quarter. I told them they didn't understand the premise behind the machine, the trick is you have to find the ugliest thing that no one in the world could possible think was cute or remotely attractive. That would be the only thing the arm would ever pick up. They didn't believe me. We all looked inside. Suddenly half buried in the back corner I saw him, soon to be called Levin, with his patchwork bum sticking in the air. He was the ugliest pig I had ever seen. I knew immediately he was the one I had been looking for. I deposited my quarter and manipulated the mechanical arm over him. Soon I had him clutched in my arms with a triumphant smile on my face. I skipped all the way home not knowing then what I had just started. Over the years I have been collecting various pigs that while not pleasing to the eye hold a special place in my heart.

I was telling Manola that somehow I have equated in my mind my love of ugly pigs to my love of people. Sometimes on the outside a person might be difficult or not someone people would immediately think to hang around or love, but I think if I look deeper they could be intelligent hardworking, loyal, and lovable . Not saying that I don't appreciate beauty, I do. But I don't let lack of beauty stop me from looking deeper. I was hanging out with my friend Mark the other night and I was telling him about someone who I thought was attractive. He told me the person wasn't. I was like how can you tell me who I think is attractive. Mark said I was lowering my "standards". I thought about this when I got home. I was thinking I wasn't lowering my "standards". It's just that my standards weren't his standards. Maybe they aren't anybody else's standards either. I got my philosophy from collecting pigs. I'm looking for something special. I guess to me things become more or less beautiful/attractive by what is inside not what is outside. I could try to change, but who am I kidding I have more chance of changing as I do of growing six inches taller. Anyway I guess that's it for that.

If you are feeling game and would like to take a pig personality test. First take out a blank sheet of paper and draw a picture of a pig on it. After please look at the interpretation of your drawing.

Have a good day and enjoy the Blactoid of the day.

Blactoid: A period of history that I've always found fascinating was the period after the Civil War know was the Reconstruction. It was a time when slaves were freed and the Freedman's Bureau was established in order to help slaves to become integrated into society. Black people actually participated in politics and some even were in elected positions. However in an attempt to help reconcile the confederate states with the union states the gov't gave governing power back to the states and they instituted things called Black Codes that restricted the rights of blacks and things quickly deteriorated back to the way they were before the Reconstruction period.

Please!...Don't call 911

As some of my former roommates and most of my friends can attest, there was a time in my life when I suffered from a fate worse than death...Bad Health Insurance. I'm not talking about the HMO nightmare, "But I don't want to take generic drugs!" I'm talking about there was only one doctor in town who took my insurance and he had a tooth growing out of his ear. That's why when walking across a street I used the phrase, "Please don't hit me, my insurance is bad."

My insurance was so bad it didn't cover the cost of an ambulance (at the time $400). All my roommates knew the drill. DO NOT call an ambulance for me unless you thought I was really going to die...and was unconscious...and not breathing...and you'd already tried CPR. Because I knew I couldn't afford the cost of the ambulance and I didn't want anyone to be able to ask me for my insurance card. Sample conversation:

(Me holding a napkin to a gushing head wound)
Kumiko: Tanika do you want me to call an ambulance?
Me: No that's ok I'm good.
Kumiko:(worried) but you're losing blood fast and could die.
Me: I'm good the bus is coming in 45 minutes.

And until yesterday I thought I was one of a kind. While working at the mathnasium a kid came in and told us that while he was walking up a lady fell from the top of the building a couple doors down and was laying on the sidewalk. I asked if anyone had called for an ambulance. He said yes, but she told them not too. The woman was clearly hurt but didn't want an ambulance to come. When the ambulance showed up I saw something I didn't expect to see in my entire life. When the ambulance came the woman refused it. I said the woman REFUSED THE AMBULANCE! Clearly needed the ambulance, but refused it. WHY in the name of all that's good and holy did she refuse? Because she couldn't afford it. I just wanna say to the lady with the broken back. I hear you sista, I hear you.

Now this is totally random but my friend Anna posted on her blog about an all to frequent occurence that happens when you have a crush on someone, but spend just a little too much time with them. As this has happened to me recently I found it all too true.

Blactoid: As an avid reader two of my favorite author's are Toni Morrison and Mildred D. Taylor. Toni Morrison was the first black woman to recieve a Nobel Prize in Literature in 1993. While both authors portray the life of black women living in an extremely racist environment, Morrison's writing is grittier and more poignant. As a budding writer on occasion, I'm encouraged to read work by women who aren't afraid to talk about contraversial subjects especially during a time when people would rather sweep things under a rug and forget about them.

One night at P. Diddys...

Last night after dinner some of my friends and I headed off to a local Westwood hangout spot called Diddy Reise (sp? which we also affectionately refer to as P. Diddys) to get their world famous $1 ice cream sandwich. Eagerly anticipating the sweet taste of ice cream and cookies melting in my mouth I was devastated to discovery that they weren't serving the ice cream sandwiches. Apparently there was some sort of waste contamination of the water supply in the area and they couldn't rinse the ice cream scoops with the water. I offered to go get a one gallon jug so that I could still have some. I was respectfully denied.

As we sat outside nibbling cookies and some of us (not me) drinking milk the owner of P. Diddys came out to explain the situation and why we couldn't have the ice cream sandwiches. One of the guys with me asked was his name Reise. The owner said no actually the store is named after his grandmother who was named Reise. He said her first name was Diedre, but that they fondly referred to her as Did. Then he went further to explain that his grandmother had a taste for "The Drink" and after a few nips of the sauce she would get a little tipsy or "Diddy" so they would call her Diddy. I thought, "How sweet they named the ice cream shop after his drunk granny." Anyway it was kinda cool learning the history of the name and a little bit more about one of my favorite hangouts.

And now for something completely different. In the time honored tradition of the American public school system I have decided to devote a "small" portion of my blog to the celebration of black history month. So whenever I post a blog during the month of February I will put what I like to call a Blactoid (Black Factoid) at the end of each one. I'll attempt to share with you interesting tidbits about the history of black people in the united states.

Blactoid: As a fellow mathematician I thought it was interesting that Benjamin Bannaker was appointed as one of the designers of Washington D.C. by Thomas Jefferson. He was a farmer, astronomer, Mathematician, and historian. Some historians believe after the head of the design to resigned and left the city with the plans, Benjamin was apply to reproduce them completely from memory. (I guess Thomas Jefferson wasn't all bad.)

Of the tooth and the hamburger...

Sorry no news yet.