..."must have lost the track of time, oh what was on my mind"..."from the club went to her home, didn't plan to stay there long"...sorry just thought I'd drop in a few lyrics from Trapped in the Closet by R. Kelly.
...so I'm waiting outside of his door. Scared to knock, but knowing that I needed some resolution one way or the other I gathered my courage and rapped my knuckles against the wood of his door. He yells from the inside for me to come in. I open the door and walk in. He's sitting on the couch watching t.v. I'm thinking a thousand thoughts, mostly "Aren't we supposed to talk? Why is the t.v. on?" He asked me if I had dinner I said yes. I was lying, I couldn't eat before we spoke. He asked if he could make me a drink. I thought I might need one so I said yes. I sit on the couch while he mixes up some drinks. I turn off the t.v. while he's in the kitchen when he comes back I say, "Well you invited me over here to talk so let's just get it over with."
Fast Forward->Basically the conversation went along the lines of him telling me how much he has appreciated my friendship, (WHAT?!?) how great it has been to know me (After all I've given him and done for him) and that it's time for him to move into a new "phase" in his life. He said he knew once his music career started looking up that it was going to mean the end of us anyway. Well if he knew that then why didn't he just break up with me months ago. Why protract the agony? I sat there listening to him continue to shovel it deeper and deeper and I finally realized how full of it he really was.
And you know what? For the first time I felt more than hurt and rejection at his treatment of me. I started to feel annoyed and a little bit angry. I mean why was I wasting my time on him. He was so incredibly self-centered. For the first time I realized that I didn't love him. I loved who I "thought" he was. And he wasn't that person and he never was going. I finally realized that I had to move on from this. He wasn't going to change and I didn't have the patience to waste my time trying. It wasn't until after I left that I realized that in the conversation the mysterious aforementioned "someone else" never even featured in the conversation. And I wondered if she even exited. We hung out for a little while after we finished talking. I told him it would probably be for the best if we didn't hang out anymore, but I still wanted to stay friends with him. (I know I know I should have vowed never to speak to him again) I didn't want to give him anymore power than he already had.
We went our separate ways and I honestly thought I'd never hear from him again, but I was wrong...last night he called. He just wanted to talk to me...then he hit me with a bombshell. I mean I had spent the past two weeks being thoroughly angry with myself and him for the waste of this past year so it's sufficient to say I didn't really want to hear what he had to say. He said he was getting ready to get on a plane back to Chicago (where he is from). Then I paused for a minute. I know it's a really bad stereotype to say that black people aren't much for flying, swimming, or boating, but seriously it was probably made up for him (although he is half Puerto Rican). So I knew something was serious for him to get on a plane. Then he told me...his father had a massive stroke and he was going home to be with him and his family. I was stunned. I didn't want to be pulled back in but after the trauma I went through with him I had a small clue what he was going through. He called me this morning to say "his eyes are open" and "I think he can hear me". I will keep him in my prayers because I know he is in a stressful situation. He said he would call me back later tonight and let me know how things are going and I know I'll pick up the phone...
O.k. although the story hasn't ended my sharing of it has come to an end. I hope that you were able to get something from it as I am and will continue to do. I will keep you posted on what happens with his father, but that's it for now.
As always have a good day and enjoy.
I am 50% Left Brain and 50% Right Brain. Interesting...
| You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained |
 Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
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3 comments:
interesting ending, tanika. definitely unlooked for - truth is stranger than fiction, i suppose.
how do you learn from your mistakes and not let hurtful people monopolize your time and damage your heart and yet still be a good friend when something like that happens?
mike- you make a good point. I think one of the mistakes you have learned from is that you have let hurtful people monopolize your time and damage your heart. So at the very least you stop wasting time on them. As far as damaging your heart, well I haven't got that down yet, but it's also about learning how and when to make yourself vunerable as it is in every relationship be it platonic or romantic.
As far as remaining good friends I think we have learned from the story that unless the other person is welling then it's hard to be "good friends" although maybe being a good friend to them would involve not catering to the bad things in their character any more. Thank you for your comments.
I do what I can, I do what I can.
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