I was hanging out yesterday with my favorite Los Angeles family the Raceks and having good times and hijinks with their 3 wonderful children and Joe's mom. While in the kitchen talking with Lisa and Joe's mom we got around to the inevitable subject of myself and the man in my life (or the lack thereof).
It was funny because Joe's mom was telling me that she was thinking about me on the plane on her way over here wondering if I had finally got something going with some guy out here in L.A. and when I told her no, her face seemed so crestfallen that I was highly tempted to make something up in my attempt to give her something to go away with on her trip home. As we were talking we kinda got into some more personal subjects which can have a tendency to turn into "True Confessions" time. In the process I revealed a secret that I thought I had kept fairly hidden. Lisa said, "Tanika do you realize that is the first time you ever said that out loud" I said "What do you mean, you knew?" She was like of course I knew it was completely obvious I was just waiting for you to say something. It was then that I remembered talking to Lauren while she was here and I felt like I was revealing something deep about my character to her and she was like "Yeah Tanika I knew that already."
When I got home last night I started thinking about this and remembered something that JR said a couple of months ago. How we as people really want to be known. But we spend all this time hiding our real selves in order to keep people knowing things we feel are our problems or major flaws so that we won't be as vunerable. But when we finally do decide to open up we realize that the people we are close to already know those things about us and still love us anyway...I guess it took all this time for me to realize that no matter how hard I try to hide it my friends know the real me. They may not know all the messy details, but they know what I'm like and they still love me. The truth is the only person I'm really hiding from is myself. Trying to act like the things that I don't like about me, my flaws, and my issues don't exist. But when I open myself up and make myself vunerable that allows the people who already love me help me to deal with those things and not let them undermine my life. It's kinda funny that it took a really goofy conversation to show me that. Well anyway as always have a good day and...enjoy.
I am 50% Left Brain and 50% Right Brain. Interesting...
| You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained |
 Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
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1 comment:
That was so good! Seriously!
You know how you said you try to "act like the things that I don't like about me, my flaws, and my issues don't exist"? I was thinking about that. I love it when I'm such good friends with someone, like you, that we know each other's flaws and issues and wierd quirks.
There's a lot of social pressure to hide our problems and flaws. It's good to be guarded, but we take it too far. And within the church sometimes we put too much pressure on each other to be perfect Christians, even knowing those don't exist. It's become one of the goals of my blog (that I've been slacking on lately) to use it as a forum to open up, to be a little vulnerable, in hopes of encouraging people.
I'm so happy to read your blog and your honesty and sincerity.
Tanika rocks!
love you, chica!
LP
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